My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that ‘achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others, and that’s nice, too, but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement and forget about success.’

Helen Hayes
US actress (1900 - 1993)

I was introduced to this quote today on the occasion of a friend’s 50th birthday. One of her treats for the day was to go on a scavenger hunt to visit people who represented the ’sages’ of each decade in her life. In response to correctly answering a question, she was rewarded with a relevant quotation and a clue to the next person to visit. The ‘Sage of Achievement’ (representing her 40’s) provided the quote above.

Being in my late 30’s and often intensely engaged in the game of achievement, this is a great reminder. As I reflect on the statement, I recognize the truth of it in my own experiences, but still feel a strong craving for the outside stamp of approval. But that is a foolish goal to chase.

Praise and recognition from others is outside of your control. You cannot force someone to like or appreciate you and some people are psychologically incapable of healthy relationships at all. If you are constantly chasing external validation you often end up chasing ghosts.

It is within your own control to give your best effort at something. You can take action to improve if you fall short of your goals. Best of all, you are the ultimate judge of whether you gave your best effort.

At first glance it might seem like you’d be able to cheat and just pat yourself on the back no matter what, but reality suggests that we are our own harshest critics. It is true for me.

What great little quote. I hope you like it as much as I do.

The Go-To Guy

I can rack up another award on my resume. Under Surveillance, the independant feature film I shot and co-produced with writer/director/actor/producer Dave Campfield, won the Best Long Island Film and Best Score (I can’t take any credit for that one) awards at the 2006 Long Island International Film Expo.

Dave and I worked hard to get this project done, and I really enjoyed watching it on the big screen at the festival. It is very satisfying to have the hard work recognized!

Congratulations, Dave. You earned it! (Now let’s get going with that new script!!!)

Watch the trailer:

It’s not hard to imagine one’s life experiences flowing like a stream. People you meet, conversations you have, flashes of insight, emotions - these things and more wash steadily past. The essence of one’s life is dispersed in this river.

You cannot hold onto a river. Grasp at it and you get nothing more than an empty wet hand that will dry soon enough. But, no matter how clear the water appears, it carries with it artifacts of where it has been. Don’t believe me? Put a rock in the stream and wait.

The rock interrupts the flow. Water swirls around it leaving small pools of calmer water behind the rock. As the water slows, a magical thing happens. Those artifacts become too heavy for the current to carry and they settle to the bottom.

Put a rock in your life and the same thing happens. A house is like a rock in most people’s lives. You settle into one, and in 10 or 20 years, its nooks and crannies become filled with the artifacts of your life. Books, photographes, the car seat you bought for the child you just sent off to college. But rocks can do more than just collect your old stuff.

The Power Of Rocks

I have a wide range of interests. Often, a new momentary passion rises up while I’m exploring another. I also tend to keep coming back to old favorites, but with a new perspective.

The result of my particular pattern of curiosity is that I know a fair amount about a wide range of topics, but never seem to get enough momentum going in any one direction to make much out of it. It is a reality I decided to change.

How can a person like me get enough material together to write a book, create a business, or shoot a movie? My mind and body seem to race along from one thing to the next so quickly that good ideas and best intentions get swept away too soon.

One answer is to begin placing some rocks in my life - carefully placed obstacles designed to slow me down a little and let those good ideas have a chance to settle out of the stream.

Placing The First Stone

This website was created to be a rock. Every week it seems that someone comes to me for some kind of help or advice. It might be damaged drywall needing a repair or, like today, a friend who needed help writing up a quote for a video production project.

When you’ve worked as a house painter, media producer, hotel night auditor, home theater installer, automotive assembly line worker, website designer, director of photographer, carpet cleaner, furniture salesman, building superintendant, set designer, director, and more, the experience builds up. When you add in hobbies, a love of reading, and the random bits of other things that get picked up along the way, it’s no wonder people think I might know something helpful.

In January of 2006, I decided that I would write about my projects, hobbies, and the answers a gave people to the questions they asked. I installed blogging software on my server (another set of skills) and began writing. Now, instead of my advice fading into silence after the words are spoke, I slow down and let them settle onto this website.

So far I’ve written more than 56 posts. The majority are longer pieces, like this one. Printed out at the font sizes and page dimensions of a typical book, that amounts to more than 100 pages. That is a success by my accounting.

Adding More Rocks To My Stream

Just creating the blog site was not enough. I needed a few other rocks placed around me to ensure that I would generate the habits required to easily capture the bits of knowledge and experience I wanted to write about. I bought a small audio recorder to carry with me so I can dictate notes when I’m working on something worth writing about. I’ve also begun carrying notebooks and a camera.

Each one of these things causes tiny pieces of my experiences to settle into a growing mound of resources that I can use and share. It is exciting to see how people from all over the world have found my article on bookbinding. It is even more exciting that people are starting to ask me questions through my website. The very fact of this website’s existence is helping to inspire new articles and connect me to new people and opportunities.

Try putting a few rocks in your stream. Who knows, you may just have a book in you, or the idea for then next big business breakthrough. Whatever it is, you will find great satisfaction in being able to share it with other people.

The Go-To Guy

“Everywhere is not like here and everyone is not like these people. Whether that brings comfort or distress depends on where you are and who you are with.”

That thought occurred to me today and I liked the way it sounds, so I thought I would share it.

I’m not sure if it is original. I may have read it somewhere before. It has a lot of the same appeal as the blessing/curse, “May you live in interesting times.”

If you’ve heard it (or a variation of it) before, let me know where.

If it is, in fact, wholly original, please spell my name properly when quoting me - it’s Andrew Seltz!

The Go-To Guy

“What happened?” “I don’t like it!” “You’re a brave man!” “Let’s pin him down and shave his eyebrows too!”
These were just a few of the comments I got when I suddenly showed up one day with a bald head.

Much as some people would like to disagree, I have not gone crazy. I’ve been curious, for a long time, to know what I would look like bald. I’ve had generic ’short back and sides’ hair, I’ve had flat tops, I’ve had long hair and pony tails. I’d never been bald - until now!

A couple of months ago I started thinking seriously about it and asked my wife if she’d mind. She wasn’t crazy about the idea but said it was fine by her. I figured I would wait until June, because I could let it grow out over vacation if I didn’t like it. June arrived, and it brought razors.

It has been interesting seeing how people react. For a number of them, it’s been inspiring. Even if they don’t like the look, they like the fact that I was willing and able to do something bold. The more traditionally ‘macho’ guys I know keep talking about my having ‘the guts’ to do it.

The funny thing is that it wasn’t a big deal and I really didn’t think about it that much. I knew that people would react positively and negatively and some would just laugh. I looked forward to the banter. But mostly, I just wanted to know what it would look like so I did it. (Anyway, the worst that would happen is people might laugh - and that happens anyway!)

It’s been a week. I’m slowly getting used to the reflection in the mirror. It looks much better than I had expected.

The maintenance is pretty high. I have to shave my whole head every 2 days because it grows back so fast. Great big lumpy heads are challenging to shave.

I’m going to keep it going until July 11th and then let the flat top grow back in. My wife said that she wouldn’t mind at all if it grew back in!

Hope you get a kick out of the picture,

The Go-To Guy

I’ve known for a long time now that I was different than most people. As a kid, I read the encylopedia for fun. I studied about everything, sports, science, mechanics, art, and later computers. I’ve learned to create web pages, market products, produce films and videos, remodel homes, build theater sets, write, hold efficient corporate meetings, play guitar, animate, and record and edit sound. I know why the sky is blue, how the doppler effect works, why hand addressed junkmail is more likely to be opened, why overcast days look so dull, and the most effective way to evict a tenant or fire an employee. I could go on, but I’m sure you get my point - I have a wide range of interests and knowledge.

Up until this past Tuesday, I didn’t know there was a name for people like me. I didn’t know that I’m genetically wired-up up in such a way that I couldn’t quit being interested in new things if I tried.

Fortunately, I married a very insightful woman who loves how I get excited and passionate about new things. She wanted to help me better understand myself so I can work with my natural inclinations rather than against them. She bought me the best present I could have ever hoped for.

I Refuse to Choose!

When I came home from work on Tuesday, a book was waiting on the chair in my office: Refuse to Choose! by Barbara Scher. As I read through the notes on the cover, and then the first few pages, I felt a rush of adrenaline as I identified with example after example of what the author calls the ‘Scanner’ personality. This woman was describing exactly how my mind works and why it’s so often out of sync with the rest of the world. She even described the Scanner type as a “Go-To” person - very ironic!

Do You Have a Go-To Mind?

Are you a scanner? Do you find yourself endlessly curious about new things? Do you start project after project in a rush of enthusiasm, but usually lose interest before you finish? Does the thought of choosing one career or focussing on one hobby freak you out and get you worried that you’ll pick the wrong thing and miss out on something good? Do you find the world so full of wonderful options that you just don’t know where to start?

If you answered yes to one or more of these questions you might be a Scanner. If you’re like me, you said yes to them all and thought up a bunch of new ones. You could be the type of person who, at various times, has been called a renaissance man/woman, a well-rounded-person, a generalist, or a “Go-To Guy!”

The Scanner (Go-To) mind is wired differently than people who specialize easily. Scanners can’t specialize, it goes against their basic programming. Fighting it is like trying to force a left handed person to write with their right hand - no good will come of it.

I’ve been coming to understand some of these things about myself already. Lately I’ve been looking for strategies to work with these natural tendancies. But, deep in the back of my mind, I’ve always felt like a failure having to “work around” my weaknesses. Refuse to Choose! has brought into focus and named what I’ve been feeling for years. It has encouraged me not to see my Scanner traits as failures and it has provided a framework for understanding how these traits play out in many aspects of my life. With this understanding I can build new habits and strategies to improve my qualities of life and work.

So, What’s A Go-To Mind to Do?

If you are a Go-To person, or like my wife, you are married to one - GET THIS BOOK! I got so excited when I started reading that I decided to start a website devoted my explorations of this subject (a VERY Go-To Guy thing to do!) The site, www.Spheres-of-Interest.com, will go live in a month or so. Sign-up for the mailing list and I’ll send you an email when I get everything up and running.

Do you have a Go-To Mind? Drop me a note and let me know what you do to make the most of your passions and interests.

The Go-To Guy!

Recently I took a car trip from New York City (my home) to Michigan (my birthplace.) For those who’ve never made the trip, it takes 10 hours if you don’t hit traffic or stop too much - and I was travelling by myself. I use to pack books-on-tape and plenty of CDs to fill the time. Last year I got a Palm Tungsten T5 that can play back MP3s in addition to all the regular PDA functions. The trick now is to pick a good selection of stuff to listen to and load it onto the T5.

I’ve got a few favorite CDs ripped to the T5 already (Pink Floyd’s PULSE, William Shatner’s Has Been, Kid Rock’s Cocky, and Tool’s Undertow) but I wanted to listen to some podcasts - I wanted to listen to people talking about stuff without surfing AM radio. So I started looking around Odeo.com looking for something to download.

My website work has been high on my mind for a while now, so I started looking for some marketing and promotion podcasts. I looked up Yaro Starak, and downloaded some of his podcasts. He’s got a very interesting blog called Entrepreneur’s Journey that I’ve been following for a while now. I also came across a podcast from a website called Savvy Solo Cast that was an interview with James Maduk about creating info products. James advocates recording everything you do and generating media assets that you can publish and sell. This got me thinking about recording some of my own thoughts.

Inspiration Strikes

My plan is to make audio recording a habit. When someone asks a question concerning a subject I have a special knowledge about (like why junk mail with a hand written address is more likely to get opened than junk mail with a printed label) I’ll pop out the recorder as I give my response and then type up the results for a blog posting or other such use. Or, when I meet someone interesting and have a conversation that I think others might enjoy, I’ll pop out the recorder and ask for permission to record the discussion. It’ll be like having a giant net that I can drag through my world and catch ideas and insights. Then I can look for ways to package and distribute them to others.

My Voice Recorder Problem

I got excited thinking of all of the ways I could utilize this approach and was inspired to dictate a couple of articles for this website, but the old microcassette recorder I had brought along with me died. I hooked my laptop to a headset and fired up the free Audacity audio recording software I installed then captured my notes. This was a very cumbersome setup not well suited for making a simple voice recording (and not safe to manage while driving.) If I expected to be able to make voice recordings at a moment’s notice I was going to need an easier solution.

Finding the Right Recorder

I decided to start looking for a digital voice recorder that would accept a microphone input and - here’s the kicker - not cost me a small fortune. I also didn’t want to have to carry around adapters and add-on gear that is often required to make an MP3 player record from a mike.

My T5’s single worst design flaw is that Palm removed the voice recording feature that was part of earlier models. But, even if it did record voices, having to navigate through screen options to make a recording isn’t a good solution when you are driving down the road. I wanted something small, sleek, high quality, and easy to use and navigate with one hand. So, the hunt was on.

A stop at the local CompUSA gave me a chance to look at several different options up close. As I guessed, most of the MP3 players that recorded audio used a built-in mike and didn’t have a place to plug an exteral mike in. They also had the negative of interfaces designed for playback and not recording. The better suited models were way more pricey than I was prepared to spend. The DVR (Digital Voice Recorder) style units seemed most appropriate.

I found the Olympus VN-960PC model and was ready to part with cash. It’s small, nicely laid out, has a mike and headphone jack on top, and claims to have enough storage space for hours of HQ recordings. My only concern was the recording format and quality settings it used. The store staff gave me blank stares when I asked, and the 5 bullet points on the sales sign didn’t address the issue. I wrote down the model number in my T5, went back to work, and looked it up online.

My Audio Recording Solution

After reading reviews and searching out every different make and model of DVR, I came back to this one. It records almost 6 hours of audio in a 16 kHz sample rate WAV file. Nearly every review said that the sound quality was excellent, so I hope that the recordings will sound good enough to sell. When the recorder arrives I’ll post a review about my experiences with it.

Happy Audio Recording,

The Go-To Guy

Con·fi·dant n: A person to whom private matters are disclosed.

It was a day of upheaval at the office today which lead to many discussions of ‘who knows what’s really going on?’ Over the years, I have found that people often tell me things that they don’t share with others. When a colleague and I got to talking today, I had a moment to reflect on why that is.

I have a very specific approach that is largely responsible for people confiding in me. It came to me naturally but I’ve learned to see the pattern in my actions. I call it the ‘Rule of Three.’ But before I explain this concept, there are two fundamental trust issues that should be mentioned.

First, nobody confides in people who will use the privileged information against them. That’s just a basic survival instinct. If you are reading this with the intent of manipulating people for your own gain - please stop reading and seek help. If you are looking to improve your relational skills to become a better human being, read on!

Second, people expect their confidant not to broadcast the private information they share. This doesn’t always mean you have to keep strict secrets, but rather that you are mindful of crossing the line into gossiping when you talk to others.

So, what’s this ‘Rule of Three?’

If I pass a friend or aquaintence on the street who looks a little down and ask, “how are you doing?”, the initial response will generally be something like, “not too bad.” There is a polite pause that allows me the space to say, “see you later,” and carry on my way. ‘How are you’ is a social convention and people assume you really don’t want to hear about their problems. Most times that’s true. This is the first inquiry.

I like to talk to people, so I very often follow up this first exchange by saying something like, “you looked a little tired, and I was just wondering if you are alright.” Since I’ve shown real interest in them, and the follow-up question has upset the normal rhythm of polite conversation, there is an opening for a little bit of the ‘real’ story to come out. But, most people still resist the urge to open up and burden others with their problems. They might sigh, or say, “You don’t even want to know.” It’s still polite for me to say goodbye. They’ve given me a second chance to get away. This is the second approach.

At this point, if I am really prepared to listen, I’ll make the third inquiry. I’ll say, “what’s the matter?” Or, “I’ve got time, what’s bothering you?” Anything that will make it clear that I care about what’s happening to them. Very few people ever ask a third time and that’s when people open up and tell you about themselves. They believe you really want to hear about their problems and, if they trust you, they will likely let you in.
The ‘Rule of Three’: ask three times and most people will tell you their life story. You never know what you’ll learn. People often surprise me. Their lives have so much more dimension than the slice I see at work, or at a party, or at church.

The ‘Rule of Three’ is about being sincerely interested in other people’s lives and making a concious effort to let them know.

So, how are you?

The Go-To Guy

When I was young I used to read the encyclopedia for fun. It was full of explanations and descriptions of all sorts of things. I collected the How and Why Wonderbooks of Science. When my grandfather needed something, he made it. When something broke, my dad fixed it. We did our own home renovations.

This passion for figuring things out has extended to computers, cameras, filmmaking, lighting, mutimedia, animation, construction, psychology, and so much more. My experiences working as a hotel clerk, carpet cleaner, automotive assembly line worker, building superintendant, film and video producer, director, director of photography, web developer, house painter, etc. have further expanded my practical skills.

The end result - I’m a Go-To Guy! When people need something done and they don’t know where to start they come to me. They figure I’ll either have the answer to their problem or know where to find it. Very often I do!

Replacing a faucet? Building a PC? Designing a website? Leading a business meeting? I’ve done them all at one time or another and learned a lot in the process.

Maybe I can help!

Andrew Seltz - The Go-To Guy!