HumorInternet

Computer Intimacy Problems!

Is it time to send your computer to see Dr. Phil?

While reading an article about the growing list of security vulnerabilities on Macs, I was suddenly struck by the similarities between digital connections and personal relationships. Now that Macs are becoming more prevalent, more people are looking for ways to exploit them with viruses and other computer hacks. In other words, now that the Mac has come out of its shell and become more sociable, it’s at a greater risk of being hurt!

Can the answer be to crawl back into a protective cocoon and not risk further pain? Will disconnecting from the Internet make it all better (this goes for Windows users too!) Is perpetual loneliness and isolation the cure?

It appears that computer relationships have the same risks as human relationships. If you want the good things that come with interaction with others, you have to run the risk of being hurt. You have to learn to identify computers that are up to no good and avoid hanging out in bad neighborhoods.

You have special relationships with those you’ve learned to trust (you even sign-in to their websites and accept their cookies!) You set-up multiple email addresses with various names and only give out your ‘personal email’ to those you trust. When you sign-up for a newsletter from someone you don’t know, you give them one of the buffer emails. (When you just want that free PDF but don’t want to be on a mailing list, you give out your junkmail address at Yahoo.com – Anyone out there ever been surprised to reach the local pizza joint when calling the number you got from the person you chatted-up at the pub the night before? Does this feel familiar?)

Don’t even get me started with computers trapped in abusive relationships running illicit code for their ‘partners’ who constantly ask them to do aweful things for them like harvest personal data from unsuspecting people or launching DOS attacks on innocent websites who’ve become the targets of these bullies.

The similarities should not be surprising. After all, humans designed the whole system and are behind most of the bad stuff (they’re the little devils sitting on the edge of the monitor whispering, “Go ahead and spam 3 million people with a Viagra email – you’re not really hurting anyone!”) Whether we like it or not, the baby resembles the parents – warts and all!

So all you mean hackers out there, the next time you see a shy young Mac working up the courage to ask a PC to dance, take it easy on the little fella!

The Go-To Guy!

P.S. I’ve got nothing against Macs! I just happened to be reading a Mac related article when the brilliant insight above struck me. Please, no hate mail.

Andrew Seltz

Andrew was born in Michigan, raised there and in Tennessee, and has since lived outside Orlando, in Chicago, New York City, and now Birmingham, Alabama. He produces videos and websites for a living and is married to a beautiful, generous, loving woman who also happens to be a talented actress and writer - www.ellenseltz.com. They have two daughters.

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